Neurodivergence and Perfectionism: How to Let Go of Overthinking

 Neurodivergence and Perfectionism: How to Let Go of Overthinking

Raise your hand if you’ve ever spent way too much time overthinking something, convinced that it has to be perfect before you can call it done. Same. For neurodivergent folks, perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it pushes us to do amazing work; on the other, it can leave us stuck in a cycle of second-guessing and burnout.

But here’s the truth: perfection is a myth. And letting go of that overthinking spiral? It’s not just freeing—it’s essential. Let’s unpack why neurodivergent people often struggle with perfectionism and how we can start embracing imperfection instead.

Why Perfectionism Hits Neurodivergent People So Hard

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting things to be “just right.” For many neurodivergent folks, it’s a response to a lifetime of being misunderstood or judged. We’ve learned that being “perfect” is a way to avoid criticism, rejection, or worse—feeling like we don’t belong.

Sound familiar? Here are a few reasons why perfectionism shows up so often in neurodivergent lives:

  • Masking Expectations: If you’ve spent years masking, you might feel pressure to present a polished version of yourself at all times.

  • Fear of Mistakes: Mistakes might feel like proof that you’re not good enough (spoiler: they’re not).

  • Hyperfocus and Overthinking: Our brains love to dive deep, which can turn simple tasks into all-day projects.

  • External Validation: When the world constantly tells you to “try harder,” it’s easy to internalize that pressure.

How to Break Free from Perfectionism

Breaking up with perfectionism isn’t easy—it’s a process. But it’s also one of the most loving things you can do for yourself. Here’s how to start:

  1. Redefine Success
    Success doesn’t mean perfect. Sometimes, success just means done. Shift your focus from getting everything right to getting things finished. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

  2. Set Time Limits
    If you tend to hyperfocus on tasks, set a timer to remind yourself when it’s time to move on. This helps you avoid getting stuck in overthinking and gives you a clear stopping point.

  3. Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
    Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re data. Each one teaches you something new, and that’s how growth happens. Remind yourself that it’s okay to get things wrong; it’s part of being human.

  4. Use “Good Enough” as Your Mantra
    Perfectionism thrives on the belief that nothing is ever good enough. Flip the script by reminding yourself, this is good enough for now. Spoiler: It almost always is.

  5. Celebrate Small Wins
    Give yourself credit for what you do accomplish, even if it’s not perfect. Finishing a task, taking a step forward, or simply showing up deserves recognition.

What Happens When You Let Go of Perfectionism

When you stop chasing perfection, something amazing happens: you create space for joy, growth, and creativity. Letting go doesn’t mean lowering your standards—it means recognizing that your worth isn’t tied to how perfectly you perform.

You’ll start to notice that life feels lighter when you’re not carrying the weight of constant overthinking. You’ll feel more confident taking risks, more open to learning, and more connected to what really matters.

The Bottom Line

Perfectionism might feel like it’s protecting you, but it’s really just keeping you stuck. By letting go of the need to overthink and embracing imperfection, you’re giving yourself permission to live more freely and authentically.

Remember, you’re already enough—just as you are. So go ahead, try, fail, learn, and grow. Perfection is overrated anyway.

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